Monday, July 29, 2013

What can I do when my loved one passes away?

When a loved one passes away, it’s not easy to hold yourself together. It doesn’t matter if you were prepared for it or not. If you knew it was going to happen or not. If it was inevitable or an accident. The fact is that the death of a dear one is the toughest experience you’ll face in life because you know the fact that the person you loved so much will never come back to you again.
Life is full of ups downs. When someone is gone life seems to halt but actually life never stops. It is we who create the illusion of life being stopped after the loss. The same sun rises every morning and so must we. In this article we will try to help you overcome your grief.

The first and most important thing is to let yourself grieve. Don’t try to ignore the emotional upheaval that is taking place inside you. Face it. Deal with it. Cry all you want. If you have a friend or family member that you trust, confide your feelings in them. Sorrows lessen when shared. Remember that you are not the only person who loved the deceased. Help other family members who are grieving. Share your emotions with them. Support each other through this difficult time. Just don’t hold your feelings inside you.  The death of a loved one is a traumatic experience and when your emotions are not addressed correctly they can become depression. Don’t let yourself enter that zone. If you don’t have a family support system, join support groups.  There you can find people who are going through the same experiences you are going through. Help them and let them help you to overcome the monster of grief.

Once your feelings are somewhat at ease, try doing something in honor of the deceased person. It is not right to erase the memory of the person who has passed away. If you have lost a parent, even after death they are your parent. Same goes for all other bonds. When a person dies, his physical presence is not with you but the relation will always be there. So write a poem, make a picture book, visit places that they wanted to visit. While living your life, just live their dream a little every day.
Try to keep yourself busy. Don’t use grief as an excuse to do poorly at work or misbehave with others. That person would have never wanted to see you this way. So work on keeping yourself busy. Go back to work, take cooking lessons, do anything that will allow you to refocus your thoughts. Try to get back on your feet again.
Ask God for spiritual guidance. Pray. Ask God for peace from within. Remember God’s grace is able to comfort you, heal you, and make you at peace. He will give you strength to overcome this phase of life. All you have to do is to believe in Him. Believe that he loves you more than anyone can ever love so He will help you.

Sunday Grief, M.D. is a great read with spiritual and practical tools that we can apply to our lives when a loss occurs.  Add Sunday Grief, M.D. to your reading list and  reference list when a loved one has passed. 

Renee' Sunday, M.D.
Author, Sunday Grief, M.D.

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